The Care and Maintenance of Dwarves
by ROSSELLA1
Summary: After the Battle of the Five Armies,Thorin, Fili, and Kili are injured, not killed. Bilbo is given the task of being their caretaker. As it turns out, taking care of a King and his heirs is a lot harder than it sounds (and lets face it, it sounds pretty hard).
1. Chapter 1

Ch. 1

By ROSSELLA1

Note: I do not own the Hobbit, LOTR, or any of their characters. Completely disregards Tolkien's ending.

"But why does it have to be me?" Bilbo protested.

"Because Gloin, Ori, Dwalin, Nori, Dori and I have to take care of things." Balin (who was acting as emissary for the group) explained. "As Thorin, Fili, and Kili's next of kin, we need to take over their duties. And Gandalf…well, I'm sure he'll be in and out, but he comes and goes as he pleases."

"And it'll take all four of you? These duties?" Bilbo snorted, incredulously, rolling his eyes over the group of dwarves, who avoided his eyes.

"Oh, yes!" Balin nodded enthusiastically. "There's the treasure to count, repairs to be made, dealings with the elves, dealings with the men, messages to be sent, sur-"

"Very well." Bilbo interrupted, beginning to see the sense in what Balin was saying. "But what of Bifur, Bofur, and Bombur?"

"We're descended from coal-miners." Bofur spoke up. "We will be heading the repair teams."

"I thought _they_ were-"

"Er, the point is," Balin cut him off, "that, apart from Oin, none of us will have time to sit with Thorin, Fili, and Kili."

Bilbo gnashed his teeth. "This wasn't in the original contract!" He pointed out.

"True." Balin allowed. "But…" He hesitated, as if unsure of himself, "we…we've come to think of you as family. If…if you wish to leave, then we won't stop you. But we had hoped that…that is, we thought you might consider us good enough friends to stay on with us."

Looking around, Bilbo saw all of the dwarves nodding in agreement. Well, of course when they put it that way…"Oh, alright!" He exclaimed, eliciting smiles and cheers from the Company. "I wish they had died." Bilbo muttered under his breath. He didn't mean it, of course. But learning that one was supposed to be at the beck and call of three dwarves, when it felt like he himself should be resting, didn't exactly make him feel like a hero.

"Cheer up. It won't be that difficult. Oin will take care of all the medical stuff." Dwalin smiled, understandingly, placing a hand on the hobbit's shoulder. "All you need to do is help change the bandages and make sure that Thorin, Fili, and Kili have everything they need."

Bilbo sighed and straightened up. "Well, I suppose it could be worse."

"Well, we best be off!" Dwalin said, nudging his brother's arm.

"That's right." Balin agreed. "Lot's to do!"

The Company made their goodbyes, and quickly headed for the door.

"Poor blighter." Gloin muttered.

Bombur nodded. "Doesn't know what he's getting himself into."


	2. Chapter 2

Ch. 2

By ROSSELLA1

Note: I do not own the Hobbit, LOTR, or any of their characters. Completely disregards Tolkien's ending.

When Thorin woke up, his first thought was one of wonder that he was still alive. After the blow to his head, he had felt the life draining from his body and had not expected to awake again. His next thoughts went to his nephews. Before he had succumbed to the darkness, he had witnessed them taking on his attackers. Had they-

"You're awake!" An annoyingly cheerful voice said to his left. Thorin looked over to see the burglar kneeling next to his cot. "I...we were worried that-"

"My nephews…" Thorin cut him off. He didn't mean to be rude, but his nephews were more important to him than his manners. "Fili and Kili…are they-"

"Oh, yes." Bilbo assured. "They're quite alright. Well," the hobbit paused for a moment, "perhaps alright isn't quite the right word. They're alive, but injured." He gestured to Thorin's right.

Thorin turned his head. Lying next to him, was Kili. Bruises marred the younger dwarf's features, littering his arms and face. A red mark, in the shape of a hand, covered Kili's neck. Thorin couldn't see the full extent of his nephew's injuries but, judging by the bandages that covered Kili's torso, they were vast.

Next to Kili, lay Fili. Fii's injuries were much the same, with the addition of several lacerations to his jaw and shoulders. No doubt, he had taken them in defense of his brother. But, Thorin noticed, with much relief, that their chests rose and fell at the same time. Injured or no, they were alive.

"Oin says that you'll all survive and that…well, I'll let Oin tell you." Bilbo broke off, shaking his head. "He'll be simply furious that I've waited even this long to tell him you're awake." That being said, the burglar hurried off.

Thorin wasn't left alone for long. Oin soon bustled in, followed by Bilbo. "…has he said anything? About his wounds or the pain?" Oin was saying.

"You can ask him yourself." Thorin replied, gruffly.

"Thor- my King!" Oin exclaimed, kneeling next to Thorin's cot. He bowed his head. "We are relieved that you are awake."

"As am I." The King replied. "In answer to your question, I feel no pain, although I'm sure that will change." His torso was swathed in bandages and he remembered taking numerous blows and stab wounds. He had been through enough battles to know not to move. However, he knew that he couldn't stay still forever and, when he had to move, the pain would come. Never had the King been more glad that Oin had accompanied him on this journey. His cousin's skills with different herbs would be invaluable. "But what of Fili and Kili? How are they?"

Oin frowned and busied himself with Thorin's dressings. "They will survive." He said at last. "And they will make full recoveries. As will you."

"But?"

"But it will be a harrowing time." Oin confessed, finally meeting his eyes. "All three of you sustained severe wounds. Were it not for the arrival of the Eagles, you may very well have died. Some of the wounds will leave scars. And you will all be bedridden for a while. There's no telling how long, at the moment."

"Is that all?" Thorin asked.

"For now, yes. It may change when they awake." Oin warned.

"I understand." Thorin nodded, eyes returning to his nephews' prone forms. For now, he was just thankful that they were alive. Throughout his exile he may not have had much, but he did have his family and that was everything to him.


	3. Chapter 3

Ch.3

By ROSSELLA1

Note: I do not own the Hobbit, LOTR, or any of their characters. Completely disregards Tolkien's ending.

It was another couple of hours before the dwarf brothers awoke. In that time, Bilbo had little to do. Oin busied himself with Thorin, changing his bandages and making sure that all his injuries were as well-tended to as they could be. He had Bilbo fetch the necessary things, such as his pouch of herbs and salves, food, water, and bandages. However, apart from that , Bilbo had nothing to do but sit back and relax. Oh, how he wished it could have stayed that way.

…..

The hobbit was seated on a cushion, by Thorin's side. The two had lapsed into comfortable silence. That silence was broken by a moan. Leaping up, Bilbo saw that Kili was stirring. Bilbo started to move to his side but, before he could reach him, there was a cough from Fili. It would figure, Bilbo mused. The brothers did everything else together, they might as well wake up together.

"Oin!" Bilbo called, turning his head back. Luckily, the dwarf wasn't far away, tending to one of the wounded on the other side of the room. "Fili and Kili are waking up!"

Thorin turned his head to the side. "Kili? Fili?"

There was another groan. "Sumun ay my name?" Kili muttered, his eyes blinking open.

"Are you alright?" Thorin asked, concern etched on his face.  
"I feel 'ike I 'been stabbed." Kili groaned.

" 's prob'ly cause' oo were." Fili spoke up from the next cot. " 's unca' Thorin alright?"

"I am and you're a fool." Thorin announced. "You're both fools."

Bilbo looked at the dwarf, aghast that he could say such things when his nephews were in such critical conditions. However, anyone who has ever had a loved one be in danger will know that the King Under the Mountain was not truly angry; he was merely worried.

Kili, who was by now quite used to his Uncle's moods, replied rather brightly, "Even Fili?" For it was a rare treat that his elder brother got in trouble, as well.

"How're we foolish?" Fili asked, groggily, trying to remember if he had done anything to incite his Uncle's wrath recently.

"What were you thinking, jumping in front of me like that?" Thorin growled. "You could have gotten yourselves killed!"

"We were thinkin' that, if we didn't do something, you'd die!" Fili protested.

"And fortunate for you it was that they chose to intervene." Oin interrupted, coming over to the oldest Prince's bedside (for Fili had taken the worst, attempting to defend both his brother and his Uncle). "It gave Beorn and the Eag-" He broke off, seeing the glare that the King was sending him. "Not that that makes it any less dangerous." He lectured. "You should be more careful next time."

"Are you saying you wouldn't defend us, were our positions reversed?" Kili asked.

"That…that's…" Thorin blustered, his face turning red. "That's a completely different case!"

"And why's that Uncle?" Kili's face was the picture of innocence.

"Because…because I'm older, that's why!" Thorin answered, with an air of dignity.

"I hardly see why-" Fili started.

"Does anyone want some water? Or something to eat?" Bilbo interrupted. As one can imagine, it was fairly awkward hearing the family quarrel and he wanted to disrupt it as soon as possible.

Oin, who had finished checking Fili over and moved on to Kili, shot him a grateful look. "Yes, I think that would be nice. Why don't you get a drink for everyone?"

"Make mine an ale." Thorin rumbled.

"Water it down." Oin put in, making a small adjustment on the wrapping.

"No." Thorin protested. "I need it strong. Actually, best bring two."

"Your highness, you're not strong enough!" Oin replied calmly.

Bilbo looked between the two of them, not sure who to obey.

"On second thought," Kili spoke up, "I'd like an ale, too."

"And me!" Fili seconded.

"Definitely not!" Oin sighed.

"Um…"This was from Bilbo.

"One ale and two waters." Thorin ordered.

"Two waters and one watered down ale." Oin amended.

"I'm the King!"

"Why can't we have ales?"

"Because you're injured!"

"No worse than you!"

"Actually none of you should be-"

"I took numerous spears to the chest and arms, if I want an ale I'll have one!"

"By that logic we should-"

"Bilbo?" Kili's question interrupted the fight.

The four dwarves looked around and, indeed, the hobbit was missing. "Now where did the Burglar disappear to?" Thorin grumbled. "We weren't even finished ordering.

Oin just rolled his eyes and continued about his business.

Bilbo, as one might have guessed, had developed a splitting headache and decided to avail himself of his ring. Slipping it on, he headed out of the room and towards the room that the food supplies were being kept in. He decided to get himself an ale and bring the royal family three waters. If Thorin complained, he'd just say he got the orders mixed up.


	4. Chapter 4

Ch.4

By ROSSELLA1

Note: I do not own the Hobbit, LOTR, or any of their characters. Completely disregards Tolkien's ending. I had to include aspects of my other fic, Escape Plans, in this one. I just had to. But, it's not technically as sequel, since that would be against the rules and Legolas and Kili's interaction will not be the main focus. However, if one wants to think of it that way, who am I to say no? 

As one can well imagine, no one was happy with Bilbo's decision, except Bilbo and Oin. Thorin grumbled about it being treason, while Fili and Kili simply spent a good five minutes glaring at the Halfling. Bilbo sought to remedy this by asking the dwarves if he could get them anything else. He immediately regretted his offer. when all of the dwarves, Thorin included, traded identical smirks.

"Well, to start with," Thorin began, causing Bilbo to feel a sense of foreboding, "I'd like you to go up to the twentieth floor." They were currently on the tenth. "If you take the staircase that is at the end of this hall, my old quarters should be the seventh door on the left. I want you to see if a certain book (it's bound in leather) is still lying on the bed. If it is, bring it to me."  
"And I," Fili put in, "would like you to find me a new set of knives. I lost mine in the battle."

"I," Kili spoke up, "would like you to go to the Elf Prince, Legolas, and bade him come, bringing the bow and arrows that the elves took from me."

Bilbo, Thorin, and Fili all looked at him strangely, but the youngest prince seemed to feel no need to explain himself. So, trying to keep everything straight in his head, the hobbit set off on another quest.

…..

Bilbo had simply a dreadful time trying to remember everything. He first went to the twentieth door to the left on the seventh floor, however, he soon realized that the Prince of Erebor could hardly have slept in a closet and, so, he reversed the numbers and, at long last, ended up in the right place. Thorin's quarters, being much too small for a dragon to fit inside (although still quite large to a hobbit, a dwarf, or even a man), had remained intact. However, everything was covered in dust and they did not look very majestic. Bilbo, in fact, was very unimpressed, until his hand rested on the bedpost and he pulled it back, only to reveal a spot of solid gold. Well, that peaked his interest and, despite his exhaustion, he did what any respectable hobbit would do and started to dust everything off.

After an hour, he had managed to knock the dust off most of the things and onto the floor (for he didn't have rags or water to clean with and had to rely on his hands and any fabric he could find). However, everything looked worlds better than when Bilbo had started and the hobbit was finally able to see what Thorin and Balin had been going on about.

The room itself was the size of two large hobbit holes (although the doorway was only five feet tall). The walls were made of stone, no doubt carved straight into the mountain, with intricate depictions of dwarves and the adventures that they had had, of old. There were jewels in the place of the figures eyes and wherever they could be used to enhance the image. All of the furniture (the lamps, the bureaus, the bed, etc) was made of pure gold. Had Bibo's lantern been bigger, or had he been able to light the room's lamps, he would have seen a most magnificent sight, as the light reflected off the jewels and the metal.

The contents of the bureaus and closets were no less glorious and it was quite a while before Bilbo remembered why he had come. In his defense, he found, not only the book, but several other trinkets that Thorin had not had time to grab before he left.

After the hobbit had forced himself to leave the King's quarters, he went to the treasure room and quickly found a pair of knives for Fili. No doubt they were not a very good fit, but then the hobbit didn't know much about arms and can't be blamed for that. After this, he paused for a bite to eat, for it had been long since that draft of ale and he had done a lot of work. Last, but not least, Bilbo journeyed to the elf camp.

As one can imagine, he had to speak to a few guards before he was allowed to see the elf prince, but he was at last allowed. And so, he finally met Prince Legolas of Mirkwood, who would later become a good friend of his. I shall not tire the reader with all that was said but, the long and short of it was that the Prince thanked Bilbo for bringing Kili's message and came with the hobbit to visit the dwarves. Legolas did not bring Kili's bow and arrow, as those were back in Mirkwood and the elves had more important things to consider. However, he did bring with him certain salves that greatly aided Kili's (and eventually Thorin and Fili's, once they could be persuaded to try them) recovery.

Thorin was, at first, disgruntled at the hobbit for taking so long, for, while he had given Bilbo the task to repay him for the water, he truly had wished to resume reading his book. However, when Bilbo returned with, not only the book, but several of Thorin's other belongings, which the King had thought lost forever, Thorin was more than inclined to forgive him.

Fili, though he too had only asked for the knives so that he could get his revenge on the hobbit, truly did enjoy having weapons at his side. It was irrational, as he was in no danger from enemies and, even if he had been, he was in no condition to fight; still, the dwarf felt better with the knives close by.

Kili had had similar motives to those of his brother and Uncle, but he truly had wanted to see Legolas and was overjoyed when the Prince of Mirkwood followed the hobbit in. When asked about it later, he would only say that they had become friends and that Legolas could be trusted (he did not betray the fact that it was Legolas who had drugged the guard so that the Company could escape, for if word reached the elf King, Legolas would be in trouble). Thorin greatly disliked this and Fili was wary of the elf. However, in time, they begrudgingly came to accept that their opinions didn't matter to Kili and, if they were not overly friendly with the elf, they were at the very least civil.

Bilbo, of course, was simply exhausted. He had had a very long day and had had much excitement. Though he hardly regretted the tasks (for, while doing them, he had gotten to see much of the Kingdom that he had fought so hard to reclaim), he could not find it in him to do any more. So, without asking the dwarves if they needed anything else, he curled up on his own cot and fell fast into a well-deserved sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Ch.5

By ROSSELLA1

Note: I do not own the Hobbit, LOTR, or any of their characters. Looking for a beta. If anyone's interested, let me know.

Bilbo was dreaming that he was back in the Shire. He was finishing a nice cheese sandwich and was considering making some tea, when there was a knock on the door.

"Burglar."

Those damn Sackville-Bagginses!

"Burglar."

Bilbo moved out of view of the windows.

"BILBO!"

The hobbit jolted awake. "AH! AH! Wha-?" He glanced around him, disoriented. Then, he gave a sigh. He was still in the ruins of Erebor. People lay asleep around him; apparently it was night-time. "What is it, Thorin?" He grumbled.

"Kili needs you." The King gestured towards his nephew and then closed his eyes again.

No doubt, he'd get a good night's sleep, Bilbo thought. "Wha-what is it, Kili?" Bilbo yawned.

"I'm thirsty." The youngest dwarf complained. "And hungry."

Bilbo blinked. "Alright…I…I guess I can bring you something to eat."

In Thorin's absence, Balin had seen fit to repay Laketown's kindness with interest and, as such, the town had been good enough to forgive them their wrongs and provide them with supplies. And, of course, Dain's army had brought supplies, so thankfully they did not need to worry about running out. What Thorin would say about the missing gold when he retook his kingship was beyond Bilbo but, for now, their survival was secured. Stumbling down to where they were keeping the food, he quickly grabbed a slice of bread and a goblet of water.

"Thank you." Kili replied, simply, when Bilbo got back and handed him the food.

Bilbo nodded and turned to go back to his cot and to sleep. But, alas, that was not to be.

"Oy! How come Kili get's food and not me?" A whiny voice came from the cot on Kili's right, causing Bilbo to groan. "I wan' some, too!"

"Alright, alright." Bilbo sighed, forcing himself to get up again. "Just a moment." The hobbit rose to his feet again and retrieved a meal for the older Prince.

When he got back up to the room, Fili was asleep. Bilbo, not wanting his journey to be for nothing, shook the dwarf as hard as he dared. "Fili!" He hissed.

There was no answer. "Fili!" A small grumble. "Fili, get-oof!" Bilbo was cut off by a fist to his jaw.

"You wan' my advith," Kili said, in the middle of bites, "ea' if yoursel'. Less danderouth than wakin' 'im up."

Well, Bilbo was more than willing to follow that piece of advice. He ate quickly, in case Fili would awake in the meantime, and, then, he lay back down. Scarcely had he rested his head, when Kili's voice roused him.

"Bilbo?"

"Yes, Kili?" Bilbo sighed.

"Goodnight."

Bilbo had to smile at this. "Goodnight."

…..

The next day was less hectic. Balin awoke him with a small shake. "Why don't you get the King and Princes breakfast?" He asked. "And…" He gave Bilbo a gentle smile. "Why don't you take your time? Eat your own breakfast while you're down there. Thorin and I have much to talk of."

Bilbo gratefully followed Balin's suggestion, taking the chance to walk around while he ate. Bifur, Bofur, and Bombur were already making much headway on the reconstruction. They couldn't talk much, but they did allow him to peak into some of the safer rooms. Bofur, in particular, served as Bilbo's guide (Bilbo thought that the dwarf might feel some guilt at forcing the task of care-taker on Bilbo, but the dwarf avoided this topic).

"We'll have it back to its former glory in no time!" He proclaimed proudly, showing off how they'd already restored a staircase to the point that it could be walked upon.

"It looks great!" Bilbo replied dutifully. In truth, it did. But, he did not have much time to spare and he said so.

"Very well." Bofur didn't seem to be offended. "Stop by again, when you get a chance and we'll show you some of the rooms."

"I look forward to it." And he did.

…..

Balin was still there when Bilbo returned and he and Thorin were in deep conversation. Not wishing to interrupt, Bilbo simply gave the King his breakfast and moved on to the Princes, who were by now awake and eyeing the food hungrily.

"It's about time!" Fili muttered, taking his plate. "You never did bring me my snack last night."

"Yes, I did." Bilbo replied, indignantly. "You fell asleep!"

"Well, then, why didn't you wake me up?" Fili countered.

"I tried. You punched me!"

"You did, Fili!" Kili was only too happy to back Bilbo up.

"Oh." Fili had the decency to look abashed. "So that's what happened to your face. I'm sorry."

"It's alright." Bilbo sighed, musing that it would hardly be fair to blame Fili for his actions taken during his sleep.

"You let him off too easy, Bilbo!" Kili protested. "You should hold out for at least five more minutes! See what you can get from him!"

"Oh…er…that's quite alright." Bilbo said hastily.

"Nonsense!" Fili replied. "Name your price and retribution will be yours!"

"It was an accident." Bilbo blushed.

Kili rolled his eyes. "We'll get nothing out of him. What do you think we should give him Fili?"

"Oh, at least a golden goblet!" Fili answered.

"At least!" Kili scoffed. "I say two gold goblets and some plates to go with them!"

"Please! Why stop at gold? What about a diamond dagger?"

"Diamond! I say-"

"There's no-"

"Shove it!" Both of the brothers turned to glare at him.

"Fine! Fine!" Bilbo held his hands up. Realizing that it would be useless to argue with the Princes, he returned to his cot.

"One thirteenth, you say?" Thorin was saying. "That is more than they originally asked for, is it not?"

"Yes." Balin replied firmly. "I did not think that that was too much, considering the kindness that they have showed to us. They _did_ return the Arkenstone, as promised, and said that they'd forget any ills that have passed between us."

"Well," Thorin finally decided, "let them have the gold. I do not know what came over me, but I suppose I was a bit hasty." For now the dragon-sickness was passing and treasure seemed light when compared to all that the townspeople had done for them. "And now," Thorin turned to Bilbo, "for the Halfling's reward."

Bilbo looked up, startled. "My re- oh, no. I'm a hobbit of my word. As promised, my share-"

"Nonsense!" Thorin waved the reply away. "I was a fool to throw away your friendship so easily. You have more than earned your share. As agreed, one-fourteenth of the treasure. Of your choosing. And, whenever you choose to go, you will be given whatever aid we can give in getting it back to your Shire."

"I thank you." Bilbo wasn't about to continue to protest. "But, I would like to stay here for a while. Until everything settles down and until you and your nephews recover." He knew that if he didn't stay until things had been somewhat rebuilt, he would never stop wondering how the dwarves were doing.

"But of course!" Thorin looked surprised. "You will always have a place here burglar!" For, Balin had spoken for everyone when he had said that the dwarves had come to view Bilbo as family. "You can never outstay your welcome."

Bilbo did not know how to reply to this, and so he merely thanked the King and sat down to await the next command.


	6. Chapter 6

Ch.6

By ROSSELLA1

Note: I do not own the Hobbit, LOTR, or any of their characters. Looking for a beta. If anyone's interested, let me know. Also, any Avatar the Last Airbender fans out there? Was I the only one that was thinking of Iroh and Zuko when I saw Balin and Thorin in the movie?

In the end, Fili and Kili both agreed that Bilbo deserved no less than the title of Official Burglar of Erebor. After discussing this with Thorin (which took all of thirty seconds), Fili and Kili were given the right to bestow this and Bilbo was suddenly the first Official Burglar that Erebor has ever known.

Shortly after the three finished eating, the Elven Prince returned, much to Thorin's chagrin. Of all the elves that Kili could befriend, he chose the son of Thranduil. Bilbo found this highly ironic but hopeful; Thorin and Kili didn't seem to see the political benefits of this, but they settled for not speaking to Legolas unless the elf spoke to them.

"Mae Govannen." Legolas made a bow to Thorin, Balin, Fili, and Bilbo, before hastily going to Kili's side.

"The hell took you so long?" Kili asked, pouting. "I was beginning to think you had forgotten all about me and found some other dwarf to visit!"

At this, Fili rolled his eyes, exchanging sickened looks with Thorin. Balin merely continued to bring Thorin up to date. Bilbo was sure that Balin had long since finished giving the King all the vital news (he was now telling Thorin about every single type of food that they had in the pantry) and was just trying to distract Thorin from Legolas' presence. Luckily, it seemed to be working. Though the King kept shooting glances in the direction of his youngest nephew, he was able to hold a conversation with Balin and not go off topic. Bilbo took it upon himself to straighten Thorin's bedclothes, thus blocking the King's sight and giving Kili and Legolas some privacy.

…..

"Nay." Legolas chuckled. "I have not yet met a dwarf as…" His eyes flickered over to where Fili and Thorin were. "Well, I have not yet met another dwarf like you."

Kili winked. "That's because I'm one of a kind." He struggled to sit up, despite Legolas' protests and at last managed to prop himself up on his elbows. "So, how are things in the outside world?" The thing he hated most about being laid up here was not having a clue what was going on, besides what news others brought him. "I hear things are settling down."

"Aye." A shadow crossed Legolas' fair face. "Many have died. Elves and men and dwarves. But," He grinned, "many more are merely wounded and will survive. And I am happy to say that the bodies of the goblins far outnumber the bodies of those who fought with us."

"Well, that's a relief." It would have been quite something to retake Erebor only to have the majority of their neighbors slain.

"Your cousin," Legolas gestured towards Balin, "even managed to smooth things over with my father, using only words." Legolas gave a wry grin. "I'm afraid to say that's quite a feat."

Kili nodded. "Balin's always been the wisest out of all of us." He leaned in closer to Legolas and lowered his voice. "Uncle Thorin would never admit it, but, sometimes, Balin can make even him ashamed."

"I'm not surprised. From what I've seen and heard of him, it seems he has wisdom beyond his years." Legolas shifted and took a packet out of one of the loops on his belt. "I brought some more of the salves. I thought that-"

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Fili spoke up from the next cot.

"What's that?" Uncle Thorin asked, his tone filled with worry.

"That elf is about to put more of that goo on Kili!"  
"_Legolas_," Kili barely kept the venom from his tone, "kindly brought some more _salves_ to make me feel better."

"I don't-"

"We went over this yesterday and nothing bad happened!" Kili pointed out.

"They're merely healing salves." Legolas said patiently.

"Elvish healing salves?"

Kili didn't know how Legolas kept from rolling his eyes but, somehow, all the elf does is say, "Of course."

"Elves are renowned for their healing abilities." Balin placed a hand on his Uncle's shoulder. Then, looking up at Legolas, "We thank you for your care and concern. Thorin, this is a Kingly gift, you should be thankful. Now," he turned back to Thorin, "About Dain. I'm afraid-" Reluctantly, Thorin looked back.

Kili had never loved his cousin more than he did at that moment. "I still don't think this is a good idea." His brother however…"

"I promise you." Legolas tone was nothing if not polite. "I would never harm your brother."

"He was nice to me, Fili." Kili decided to leave out just how nice Legolas had been. Fili just turned his head and scoffed. Kili couldn't help but wonder just how many times they'd have to go through this before Fili and his Uncle would accept that Legolas wasn't trying to kill him.

…

Thorin did his best to concentrate on what Balin was saying. He really did! But it was difficult with that blasted elf flirting with his nephew. And poor Kili didn't even seem to realize it! Sometimes Thorin wondered how it was possible that his nephew had gotten to the age of 77 and was still so innocent in the ways of the world. The Elven Princeling was running his hands over Kili with all too much delight and Kili just lay there, smiling and talking to the Prince as if there was nothing wrong with this! Of course the elf was merely applying the salves, but that didn't change the rapt expression on the Prince's face! And then that confounded burglar was still straightening the bedclothes, as if they weren't already straightened enough! And really, Thorin couldn't care less about whether or not Dain had brought any cake pans. So, he felt, one couldn't blame him if his attention jumped around a bit. There were more than enough distractions.

Thank goodness Balin seemed to realize this or, at the very least, didn't have as much news as he should have had, after all that had been going on. After speaking of political matters for another ten minutes, Balin excused himself, saying that he had important political matters to attend to. Not so important, Thorin noticed, that Balin couldn't take the time to pull the Elven Prince aside. Well, good. At least someone was warning him to keep his hands off Kili.


	7. Chapter 7

Ch.7

By ROSSELLA1

Note: I do not own the Hobbit, LOTR, or any of their characters. Looking for a beta. If anyone's interested, let me know. 

Being laid up in bed was very tedious for Thorin. The King Under the Mountain just wasn't used to not being able to do anything. When he had last lived in Erebor, he had always had something to do. Meetings to attend. Foreign Relations to be maintained. And when he was finished with affairs of state, he could educate himself. While many things had changed during his exile, the one thing he had never been was idle. He had always either been working or spending time with his family. Now, he had next to nothing to do.

Thorin had made quick work of the book and now he could only lie there, eat, drink, and listen to his nephews bicker over who had the most impressive scars. And so, he settled on ordering Bilbo about. Perhaps it wasn't entirely fair, he thought, but it gave him something to do. Really it was quite fun after a while (which, if he thought about, would have told him just how bored he really was, but he didn't think about it, too much).

"Burglar, would you fetch me a dagger?"

"Bilbo, I could use another water."

"Actually, I've changed my mind; I'd like an ale."

"I'm sorry, I'm being so much of a burden." "Oh, that's quite alright, Thorin."

"Thank you, Bilbo…By the way, could you plump my pillows?"

The Hobbit never ceased to obey, even if he did look a tad bit disgruntled. Thorin was beginning to think that it would be bearable. And then _he_ came. Right after the dwarves had finished lunch, the elf Prince entered the room. This would have been enough to disgruntle Thorin, but the elf following behind him positively infuriated the dwarf. Behind Legolas, walked King Thranduil.

…..

You see, Balin had not been lecturing Legolas about Kili. In fact, as Thorin would soon find out, the conversation did not even concern Kili. Rather, it concerned Thorin. I won't bore the readers with the details, but it went something like this. Balin mentioned to Legolas how tragic it was that two rulers, as strong and as dedicated to their people as Thorin and Thranduil were, must live at odds. Legolas agreed and asked Balin if he had any suggestions. Balin replied that he did, indeed, and went on to describe what he had in mind, which was to get the two Kings into the same room. Thorin was too injured to move, so it all depended on getting Thranduil to visit and I am afraid that Legolas might have led his father to believe that the Dwarf King was dying and that his dying wish was to see the King of Mirkwood. Of course, Thranduil wasn't all bad, and he still held some affection for his old friend, so he decided to grant the King Under the Mountain's last request.

"Mae Govannen, Thorin, son of Thrain." Thranduil greeted the dwarf, walking over to the King's bedside. Seeing no chair, he sat cross-legged on the floor. "It is…good to see you again." He glanced over the dwarf's body. There were numerous bandage-swathed wounds, but Thorin appeared just as strong as ever. 'Thank the Valar for small mercies.' Thranduil thought.

It was bad enough that his former friend was dying, but he didn't think he could stand to see Thorin with all his strength ripped away. Indeed, if Legolas hadn't told him so, Thranduil would have assumed that the dwarf was on the road to recovery. He appeared coherent and looked like he could, with the right herbs, be on his feet in a week or so.

"I wish I could say the same for you." Thorin growled.

"I see your charming personality remains intact, even if your body doesn't." Thranduil smiled. The dwarf was dying; Thranduil could withstand an insult or two. "Although your wounds don't look nearly as bad as I expected."

"And thank goodness for that." Thorin replied. "Although, they're bad enough to…" He gestured up and down his body.

'Poor, Thorin.' The elf king thought. 'He can't even speak of dying.' "Well, it happens." Alas, even the strongest of the strong were brought down.

"Yes."

Thranduil waited, but Thorin gave no sign of telling him why he had summoned the King of Mirkwood. "Your nephews seem to be excellent warriors. From what I saw of them, they held their ground for quite a while. Did you train them yourself?" Had things gone differently, Thranduil may have known these dwarves from the cradle. But now, they'd only be a memory of what Thorin had once been to him.

That elicited the slightest hint of a smile and there was no mistaking the pride that flashed in Thorin's eyes. "Yes. They have made me very proud. When I am gone, they will be great Kings. Ones that will do their ancestors proud."

"Do you know how long until…?"

"A week or so, at least."

Thranduil's eyes welled up. He supposed he might as well get everything off his chest. He hoped to have another chance, but he couldn't be sure. "Thorin…I…I always regretted not being to save Erebor and…no! save your strength!...and I truly only kept you imprisoned to…well, to protect you from the dragon….I knew you'd come back and I was afraid…well, never mind…I hope Erebor and Mirkwood can be allies again, one day. Starting with the line of your nephews."

"Well…" Thorin blinked up at him, clearly unsure of what to say. "Um…I…"

"Now, what did you want to say to me?"

"What?"  
"Legolas said you wanted to tell me something. What was it?"

Thorin's eyes narrowed. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Thranduil smiled down at him sadly. His friend's mind was no doubt addled by the nearness of his death. "Well, you mustn't strain yourself, of course. No doubt my visit has tired you. Goodbye, my friend. I hope I will see you tomorrow."

"I'll be here."

"That's the spirit." Dusting off his hands, Thranduil rose to his feet. Turning to go, he accosted a certain hobbit. Perhaps it was too late to save the King Under the Mountain, but he could still give advice that might ease his passing.

…..

Thorin stared after Thranduil, as he exited the room. From the way the Elf King acted, anyone might assume Thorin was dying! Shaking his head, he laid his head back on the pillow. Elves truly were strange creatures.


	8. Chapter 8

Ch.8

By ROSSELLA1

Note: I do not own the Hobbit, LOTR, or any of their characters. Looking for a beta. If anyone's interested, let me know. Betad by guardin of dragons.

Bilbo, as the reader may imagine, was bewildered at the King of Mirkwood's sudden affection for the King Under the Mountain. Pleased, but bewildered. While the Elf King had never been cruel towards any of the dwarves, neither had he expressed any affection for them before now. But, Bilbo supposed, times of trouble often brought out the best in people. Had he thought enough about Thranduil's words and actions, he may have realized that something was amiss. As it was, he was much too busy to do so.

The reason he was too busy came largely from the Triple Terrors, as he had come to think of Thorin, Fili, and Kili (of course he did not call them this to their faces). Despite Kili's and Thorin's frequent visitors, the three dwarves seemed determined to be bored. And they expected Bilbo to entertain them. At first, it was simple things. Like walking all the way up to Thorin's room for some old trinket or looking inside each and every room in Erebor until he found something that interested Fili and Kili. But then, Gandalf happened to drop by just long enough to let slip Bilbo's talent for telling stories and, all of a sudden, nothing else would satisfy them.

At first, Bilbo thought it was great. All he had to do was sit on the floor and do something he was good at. And, as hobbit tales are unlike dwarf tales, he often could get by with just the old legends and children's stories. However, somehow (Bilbo could never quite remember how), the trio found out that Bilbo had a knack for writing poems and songs. The result was that they started demanding that the stories be told in verse.

As many poets know, one cannot simply cough up one on demand. It has to come from some inspiration. Unfortunately, Fili, Kili, and Thorin were not poets and did not seem to understand this, so Bilbo was forced to come up with poem after poem. Not all of them were bad. Some of the ones recorded in the books that detail Bilbo's later adventures were first thought of during this stage. But the fact was that the majority of the ones Bilbo did not like.

_There once was a hobbit from Bree._

_He was handsome as a hobbit can be._

_But he was so mean and surly,_

_That all of the girlies,_

_Of him they did not want to see._

It was a horrible poem, Bilbo thought. The meter was way off and the rhymes weren't nearly as exact as he liked. However, the Triple Terrors just insisted on more.

…..

_There once were two wonderful kingdoms,_

_One above and one below the sea,_

_And there was a prince and a princess that lived,_

_In them, respectively._

_And one day the Princess Under the Sea,_

_Came to the surface and saw the Prince and fell in love with he._

_But, being a siren, she had little hope_

_Of making the Prince fall in love,_

_With her, for she lived below,_

_And he lived above._

_But he made her heart feel light as a dove,_

_And so she went to a witch and gave up her voice to attain the Prince's love._

_But, as was doomed to happen,_

_The Prince did not love her._

_So the siren turned to sea foam._

_And long lived the cur._

_And that was the end of my ystor_

_Thou shouldst not ask for more._

This time, the three of them stared at him, mouths wide. "That's-" Kili started.

"Horrible." Fili finished.

"I know." Bilbo snapped. "But it's not like you gave me much time to think."

"So you had to kill off the poor siren?" Kili pouted.

"Hardly seems fair." Fili added.

"The cadence was off, as well." Thorin put in.

"Well, then, perhaps you'd care to think of one!"

"No." The King replied, for once not seeming to feel the need to go on a long-winded speech about his decision.

Bilbo huffed and plopped down onto the floor. "Well, I'm not thinking of another poem for at least a week!" He said, crossly.

This elicited quite a response from Fili and Kili. "What do you mean?"

"You can't stop!" Kili whined. "We want to hear more!"

"Just a few more! We promise we won't complain!"

"No." The hobbit replied, quite crossly. "I've tired myself out trying to think of new ones and you don't even like them."  
"But we do!" Kili insisted. "It's just the last one!"

"All the others we loved!" Fili added.

"Well," Bilbo said, somewhat mollified, "that still doesn't change the fact that I'm tired."

"But you're caretaker!" Kili protested. "If you don't entertain us, then who will?"

This thought caused Bilbo quite some pause. For, despite the difficulty of the job, he had agreed to look after the three and it wasn't as if it were their faults that they were stuck here. "Oin!" Bilbo exclaimed, lighting on a solution. "I bet you know lots of stories and poems don't you?"

The elderly dwarf motioned to his ear trumpet usually hung and held his hands up in the air, indicating that he couldn't hear (something that, conveniently enough, only happened when Bilbo asked him for help entertaining the Triple Terrors). Making a face, Bilbo sat down. Then, it occurred to him that he was only one of the Company. Surely there must be at least one of the others who could help.

"Wait here." Bilbo said. "I'll be right back." And, so, he set out in search of help.

Thorin rolled his eyes at the Hobbit's back. "Well, it's not as if we can go anywhere."


	9. Chapter 9

Ch.9  
By ROSSELLA1  
Note: I do not own the Hobbit, LOTR, or any of their characters. Betad by guardin of dragons.

Bilbo's first visit was paid to Ori. The young dwarf had been stationed in the library and had been charged with cleaning up the room and given the tasks of cataloging all of the books that hadn't been ruined and clearing out the ones that had. Surely that couldn't take too long. Still, the hobbit felt relieved when he walked in to the library and saw that the young dwarf was perched in an arm chair, which looked like it had seen over several hundred years of use, and reading a book.  
"Ori!" Bilbo exclaimed.  
Ori jumped in his chair. "Bilbo! It's good to see you! I've missed you. Not the same now that we need to get Erebor up and running again, is it?"  
"No. No, it's not." Bilbo replied. "Look, Ori. Um…Thorin, Fili, and Kili-"  
"Oh, how are they doing?"  
"Good!" Bilbo gave a small, nervous laugh. "Actually, it's because of them that I'm here."  
"Oh?" Ori busied himself at a nearby desk, lining up the pencils in a row, as if it was the most important thing in the world to do right now.

"You see, they want to hear…stories and songs and…well, I just don't know enough to satisfy them!" Ori made a small noise that sounded sympathetic, but didn't look up at Bilbo. "And also…quite frankly, I'm getting sort of tired and could use a break. I was…err…I was wondering if you could come down and read to them for a little bit."  
Ori gave a squeak. "What?"

"Just for a little bit!" Bilbo added hastily. "When you have the time."  
"Oh, well... um…I'd…of course… I will! I will! It's just…not today." Ori stumbled through his words. "It's just that I'm so busy!" He added, as if in excuse. "I was just taking a break. I really shouldn't have! I'm just so…I'm busy! That's it!" He busied himself, straightening a pile of books. "Perhaps another day then?"  
"Oh." Bilbo said, a bit dejectedly. "Of course. I understand."

I am glad to say that Ori had the decency to at least look guilty. "Err…perhaps try Nori? I haven't seen him in quite a while. What with how busy I am, of course. But I can't imagine they'd put him around anything to valuable. And he's bound to have lots of stories about his adventures."  
Bilbo honestly hadn't thought of that. To tell the truth, he didn't know Nori that well. But, from what he did know, it made sense. Nori was a…well, a real burglar. Of course he was bound to know more than a few tales! "Thank you, Ori! I never thought of that. I'll do that.".  
"You do! Check his rooms!" Ori replied. And…and I'll…I'll stop by…sometime…"  
Bilbo nodded absentmindedly, turning away. "Thank you. Goodbye."  
"Goodbye."

I am afraid that it was only a few seconds after Bilbo left that Ori breathed a sigh of relief and plopped down in his chair and picked his book up again.

After that, Bilbo checked Nori's rooms, but found no one. All that was there was a empty room, a bed that still needed to be fixed, a pile of gold, and a fire flickering merrily in the fire place. Sighing, Bilbo turned and left, not looking back to see the dwarf role out from under the bed as the door swung closed.

Figuring he'd continue down the list of brothers, Bilbo made his way to Dori, who was scheduled to work with a group of dwarves on salvaging…well, whatever could be salvaged from all the different rooms. This time, it was obvious that Dori couldn't spare the time. When Bilbo entered the room that Dori was working on at the time, Dori and the dwarves were busy stomping on very large spiders. They weren't quite the size of the ones in Mirkwood, but they were at least twice the size of golf balls and very capable of biting holes in one's shoes (which is what they were doing). Bilbo helped the dwarves to finish killing the rest of them but, after they were all dead, he couldn't quite bring himself to say anything but, "Hello", and offer to bring Dori and the crew up some lunch.

After doing this, Bilbo went to see Bifur, Bofur, and Bombur, but, while relentlessly optimistic about the progress they were making, it was still clear to anyone who could see that they had a long way to go. So, Bilbo decides to visit the Fundinson brothers.

The two were situated in a set of rooms on the third floor below the front door. He was relieved to hear their voices through the door as he approached; he hadn't been looking forward to the possibility that he'd need to track them down.

Dwalin's deep tone could be heard from all the way down the hall. "I stopped by to see Ori today. He says that Bilbo's started to look for help with those Royal brats!"  
Intrigued, Bilbo tiptoed closer.  
"Poor lad." Balin said. "You know, perhaps we should go help him out."  
Dwalin shuddered. "And be saddled with those three? I love Thorin, Fili, and Kili as much as you do. But even I can't handle them when they're sick. Anyway, the laddie agreed to take care of them and now he has to live with his decision."  
"But perhaps we should have told them what they're like when they're laid up in bed."  
"And have him run back to BagEnd as quick as a rabbit?" Dwalin shook his head. "Nah."  
Bilbo had heard enough. He didn't even bother to knock, opting for bursting through the doors. "Am I to understand that you saddled me with this job on purpose?" The brothers' twin looks of surprise were his only reply. "Do you know that those three had be running up and down these stairs and halls like….like…. like Lobelia Sackville-Baggins would if she had the chance to have free reign of BagEnd?"  
"Who-" Dwalin began.  
"AND!" Bilbo interrupted. "Fili punched me!"  
Balin tilted his head to the side. "Fili-"  
"AND, they had be telling every single story I knew! Then had the nerve to complain! And ask for more!"  
"Bilbo-" Dwalin tried to stop him.  
"ENOUGH!" Bilbo snapped. "I may have come up here asking for a day or two's reprieve, but now that I've heard that you knew what…what absolute terrors those three are and did nothing to help…." He gave a small laugh. "Well, let me just tell you that I will not be bought off so easily! You and every last member of the Company will know what it's like to excite the wrath of the hobbits!"  
Dwalin and Balin no doubt had much to say in reply. However, even for seasoned warriors such as them, Bilbo's glare was just too much. They were too afraid to do anything but remain silent.


End file.
